Friday, July 31, 2009
im really happy ; 9:53 PM
im never gonna hurt u anymore syg..
i love u truly and u r my true love..
pls dont leave me anymore..
Labels: love you bby
will.. ; 12:49 AM
expressed everything to her on the phone just now..
shes confused..
i told her i wont say things that will make her confuse no more..
i will just try and go by the book..
but miracles might happend..
no high hopes..
but will have to move on..
hope her heart will open up and ans all her confusion..
one fine day..
i will pray for u always..
tc there..
Labels: it happend..?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
lifes short.. ; 11:42 PM
may your soul rest in peace my beloved teacher..
and may u get the best place in there..
Amin..
we miss you..
Labels: spend it wisely..
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
it feels deep.. ; 10:15 PM
the end lee..
no more hurting urself please..
u r just putting urself in a spot lee..
no point crying over it..
it wont chage anything..
shes confuse and she treats u as her fren..
she still wants him but not u..
forget the past lee..
forget it bout being with her..
stop being an ss..
go on and move..
pls stop hurting urself..
pls..
Labels: no point hurting urself..
Monday, July 27, 2009
pls dont put hope lee.. ; 6:04 PM
had a short talk with her..
she told me that she cant say anything..
and told me dont be angry with her if i were to wait for her and in the end
she cant accept me..
people..
should i keep on waiting for her..?
bcuz my heart still needs her to be strong..
my love for her is still strong..
what should i do..?
Labels: it just wont fit in together..
where rainbows end.. ; 2:51 PM
will the shattered glass im fixing fits back together..?
im trying my best in putting it together..
will you make it happend..?
Labels: true feelings cant be stopped..
Thursday, July 23, 2009
sayings.. ; 3:23 PM
let me be hurt putting the shattered glass piece back together..
then to be hurt walking across the shattered glass..
running away is not a solution,
as there lies strength and sincerity in me..
some guys dont have the courage to face after break ups,
but for me.. the courage pulls me up..
one more time i was asked to move on..
now i feel its easy to be said then done..
and im sorie..
Labels: the piece just wont fit together..
Thursday, July 16, 2009
hope she will be ok.. ; 11:02 PM
todae went to school late..AGAIN!then went to EIB class but teacher went for course..soo i went C1 to meet shazni and danial..we studied there..me trying to absorb everything into my mind..then went for the test..damn i forgot all the formulaes..i only manage to do the mcq..i rilli need to buck up on my studies..i have been failing my machines for all the test..wth..then finish school, went to meet love and rai..me and love watch resident evil 3..instead of watching the movie, i looked at her..deep into her eyes..just love her..then she got to go for class..me play game a while..then when she is back, we continued watching it..then she and atik watch another cinderella story..then meet abg and kakak at c1..then khai,rai,love and me plan to go qiji at cgh and breakfast as im visiting my dad there..atik tagged along and she went off when we want to go to qiji after meeting my family..at qiji..i told love that my parents are ok about me being with her alridy..i wish i have told her all this earlier..but then my dad told me about not repeating my pass..that is when my ex left me, i totally lost focus of my life..then she told me..to ingat what my dad pesan me..and i told her im trying..and that i will always be waiting for her..after breaking fast, we all were happily talking and had fun..then she keep laughing and leaning on my shoulder..when love did that, i feel like she still love me..i could feel it even when she dont say it or show it..this is what people call true love..u can feel it even when it is not told or showned..then after that we all went seperate ways..rai and khai took 9 to bedok where else my family, love and i took 9 to afghan..love went home straight from there..i wanted to hug her.. she turn n look at my mum..i say.."she dont mind"i knew that she needed a hug cuz i saw her keep looking at her hp since in schl..waiting for him to text her..i can feel everything that she is facing...read her blog just now and it was true..i hope things will be better for her..even if i cant make it better, at least i could lend a shoulder for her to cry on and an ear to talk to..i just want the best for love..thats all..love..i just read ur blog just now..im sorie for looking at u when we are watching movie..cuz i just love looking at u love..then i know u r not ok when i saw u looking at ur phone at c1..when u called someone and didnt ans it..when u were expecting someone to call u or even msg u..u were soo angry just now that u say something about my dad..i dunnoe why u keep saying that kind of things..its like as if u still love me deeply and that u want me back..or u want me to take u back..then i know u r missing him and that u love him..but both of u r drifting apart..i hope the best for both u..but love..if u ever feel down n need to talk someone, im here..my shoulder is urs to lean and cry on and my ears is urs to listen to..i will always be here waiting for you..i will move on being single..move on doesnt mean i dont love u anymore..moving on while loving u and waiting for u..bcuz i know love that u dont like to see me in this situation..i love you and i miss you..tc my love..Labels: i will be here waiting for you..
Monday, July 13, 2009
thanx my friends.. ; 11:10 PM
i just want to say thank you to Rendi, Rai, Khai, Joe, Shazni, Mon, Atik, Kak Ema, Abg Sim, Cikgu, my cousins, Zaki, Hadi and Syirah for being there for me..I love you people..without you i guess i would have fallen to the ground..not being able to pick myself up..and to you..im sorie to say those harsh words to you..be happy with him..i will try to be what i want to be now..being single..leading a life and happiness of my own..love you..Labels: and to you too..
rebah ke tanah.. ; 6:20 PM
aku benar2 tidak dapat melupakannya dan teruskan hidupku..melihatnya menari membuatku tersenyum..tetapi pabila aku sedar bahawa dia bukan lelaki kekasihku,aku rasa seperti ingin mengalirkan air mataku yang telah lamaku menahan..aku tidak tahu jika dia masih menyayangiku..aku tidak mahu paksanya bersamaku kembali..tetapi adakah ia tidak adil untuk aku?dia bergembira dan melupakan aku begitu mudah..mala aku keseorangan dilukai berkali2..menunggu kedatangannya kembali untuk aku mencintainya..aku benar2 sudah tiada tenaga untuk belajar tanpanya..esok ada periksa..tidak dapatku memahami pelajaran yangku belajar..kerna fikiranku hanya padanya..mengapakah aku harus hadapi ini semua??Labels: adakah kau masih mencintaiku...?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
tired! ; 10:57 PM
i just reach home from geylang with my family to eat durian..today is a very tiring day for me..and i injured my back in the process..i need to transfer my things from my house to my uncels house at Macpherson..tumpang brg pat umah my uncle before i move to my new house..the came back need to sent my aunt thingi..baju2 pengantin dier as she is a mak andam..then went back and get ready to go geylang..now im in front of my lappie with my eyes half closed..sleepy and found out my fren told me 2moro my napfa test..SURE NOT!?!?!im not ready siaa..ok till here..read her blog..read something that i dunnoe but somehow i can feel..but i dont want to give myself hopes anymore..bcuz it keeps hurting and killing me..just let her be happy lee..like she say..the decision she make is for our own good..and thanx to my frens for making me strong this few days..im sorie to make u guys feel sad and angry towards me..she looks happy with him..let her be lee..just carry on with ur life..she may not meant to be urs..lee...sometimes what you want or you think is yours might not be yours at all..and i will always keep this in mind..i dunnoe whats her feelings towards me anymore..lee..just move on like she asked u too..she found her happiness alridy..its time for u to find ur happiness..Labels: forget it lee..
Saturday, July 11, 2009
sayings.. ; 11:35 PM
it hurts when someone you love is there right beside you but you cant shower them with the love you had for them and to share your happiness with them..
Labels: need to be strong..
love.. ; 11:33 PM
to love..im sorie if i did something wrong just now..like looking at those pics..and that i was in a bad mood just bcuz of it..im sorie i wrapped my arms around u to let u to slp..im sorie i kissed your forehead while you are aslp..and im sorie for everything..love..lee..Labels: sorie..
surprise for you.. ; 11:11 PM
todae my soul friends and tarian friends are having their competition at suntec..i told them i cant com as i need to pack my things as im moving house by the end of this month..soo i was sad..MORNINGi woke up early in the morning to pack my things and disassemble my bed and my sister's bed..then i rush2 till berpeluh satu badan..dah lah uat keje sorang as my parents not at home..then mandi cepat2..INTERCHANGEat interchange..was waiting for Zaki for half an hour..first plan 1.15..then i went out, Zaki say 2..but i topld him i went out alridy..but still we met at 2..lol kan?SCHOOLi bought double cheese plain for my breakfast..when reach schl, the percussion mates were eating macdonalds also..soo i joined them and ate..then i went in to salam the tarian-ians..Love saw me..she was surprise..(indeed it was a surprise meant for you love..)then i walk2 and take pics as per normal..photographer maa..but that pictures in the cammie kills my heart..but i try to stay strong and i did..i smiled and have fun..BUSin the bus, everyone were enjoying themselves..even i smiled and sing along..it was a wonderful experience..even though i cant sit with love..at least i can see her laugh and smiles..everytime i sing a love song, i really meant it..cuz i can feel it..then we reach at suntec..SUNTECthey had their last rehearse in the waiting room..i took pictures and giler2..then when looking at the pictures..i saw those pictures again..love with him..that was when i cant control it alridy..it kills me all deeply inside..that was why i was not in the mood love..its not bcuz of the video i took wrongly..then after they perform, they get a well done comment..congrats to all of you my soul-ians and tarian-ians mates!then off we went to bus..BUSthe bus was much more better then the one we took to go to suntec..in there i sat alone..trying to control my feelings..everyone was asking if im ok..i just say i am..then while i was listening to my normal fanatic songs to release my stress..love came and sit beside me to listen with me..then i took out my wallet to take out Hadi's $10..there my picture with her is still there..i dunnoe if she notice it..then she wanna slp..she dunnoe how to slp..then i wrapped my arm around her like memories and she fall straight to sleep..love..at that moment when you lie on my shoulder and my arms wrapped around you..i was just wishing that i could hold you and love you..never to let you go..then she woke up..yeah..the moment stop there..SCHOOLthey all get themselves off the costumes and make ups..i went off early..and sat at the memories place when love usually get stressed up..i sat there hoping she would come..but i know she wont..then i walked out alone and thank goodness my soul-ians friends still there..meet them and took bus to inter with them..then went afghan to buy murtabak for my family..blanje them..hehe..HOMEhere i am typing..ok lol i know..=))Labels: im glad it was a successful surprise..
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
crazy me.. ; 9:49 AM
u know what??im in school now in cafe 1..alone..lol..i thot my class starts at 8 but it was at 10..lol..then i forgot i got the student assistant tingi..tu pon when it was 9.45.. -_-ok lah..gtg..class starting soon..Labels: mepeklah..
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
worried.. ; 8:06 PM
today in class we all kena quarantine..wth sia..then we cant go anywhere..food teacher tapao for us and we ate in class..then after school got IRIR training again..saw her there..i want to talk to her..but i scared she wont want to layan me..then when training starts..i saw her looking very sick..having headache and she looks tired..i was damn worried bout her..then need to go home..salam the rest and her..she was looking at me and i was looking at her..there was this silence..but i ignored it..i have to for her to have her happiness..then reach home read her blog..she say about she not feeling well and all..i was very worried..but i cant do anything..i can just pray for her health..yana..pls do take care of ur health..if u r not feeling well, pls go and see the doctor..you always advice me now its my turn..pls keyh..and do eat on time..i know u wasnt feeling well just now bcuz u r fasting..juz want to tell u its better if u fast mon and thurs keyh?hari yang sunnah utk puase..thats all..lee will be hear if yana needs to talk to someone keyh?love..lee..Labels: pls tc my dear yana..
Sunday, July 5, 2009
where are you..? ; 10:39 PM
you told me we could go to school together as per normal..having our mickey and minnie plush keychain hang on our bags..you say i could share my problems and talk to you..where are you..?
i cant even reach you..when im stressed up at home..i cant talk to nobody now..when i miss you..you are not there..even as a friend..no you are not..i know u dont want to hurt me more by meeting me and see u n him..but no matter what, im still hurt..you are starting anew 2moro..i can see u rilli are working on it by kicking me aside..nvm love..no matter what u do to not or to hurt me..my love for you wont change and i wont give up waiting for you..i have earn the true love i have been searching and that is you..thats why i wont let it go..bcuz once you found it and let it go..you might never find it back..Labels: when i need you..
i need her.. ; 10:15 PM
todae went bishan for aunt marrige..look at her and the place reminds me of love..but i know that she wont be thinking of me now..then for the whole event i was feeling down..cuz i cant share my happiness with her now..then went to cikgu's chalet..everyone asked my for you love..it hurts me..i know u still love me love..but why this..?i just smile and try to be strong even when my tears started to build..then after everything..we went home..otw out..there i saw iman and iza..im just happy to see them..they faced the same problem as us last time..but they are still strong..bcuz the mistake that they admitted and regret made their love stronger..iza asked me.."yana mane lee?"love..u never know how deep it hurts me..to hear that..i was silent at a moment..then i say u haave kenduri and smile..even when it is a fake smile..i know u hate to be the confused yana..you have always been..i gave you all..everything love..my heart..my life..my love..my attention for you..but why cant i be the one with you now?u say i dunnoe..but u still go with him..nvm love..i know u r still confused..im willing to wait..wait till u come back to me..i know u still love me love..n i believe fate will bring us toget again..i know u r not strong love..thats why im willing to be there for u everyday..but now..i cant..cuz u wont even ans my text and calls..just remember that i love you..and no one can replace ur doings and ur place in my heart..im not strong like you say i am..im strong bcuz u made me strong..like what u say in ur post..now i cant be strong as the person that made me strong has gone with someone..that she is strong with..i hope u will be back for me to take like u told me before..and i hope i can be ur true love like u told me before..and i hope we can be US again like u told me before..and i will hold to it..believing we will be together again..thats why im still alone now..Labels: only she can make me strong..
moon.. ; 12:41 AM
just reach home with my parents..watch transformers..i wish my fate was like Sam..having her girl through ups and downs..being there to make him stronger..when we walk back home..i can feel the moon looking at me..talking to me..about my promise to love..31 october..6 days after loves birthday was when i expressed my true feeling to her..with the moon as the witness..and now the moon is asking me to fight back for her..and i will..the moon smiiled at me..people would say im crazy to say all this but i can feel it..bcuz the moon knew my feelings for love thats why it is asking me to fight for love..never to give up..and i will never give up..now im tearing into tears..everynight..wishing love would text me but..i will just keep on waiting..i hope what my cousins say is true..they knew how i am when i fall in love with someone..i wont give them up..especially when i know love still loves me..i see it in ur eyes love..never deny love as it will hurt as time goes by..i love you love..Labels: even the moon told me to wait..
Saturday, July 4, 2009
i wish.. ; 8:26 PM
everytime my phone rings..
i wish it was u..
but it wasnt..
Labels: will not stop hoping..
wish to turn back time.. ; 8:22 PM
todae and have been a chaos day for me..almost did something stupid and rash..sigh..i now understand what happends when u did something wrong in the past..even when u say that u regret..they wont give u a chance..bcuz they know they feel their love for u..but maybe they dont want u anymore..but i will just carry on waiting..cuz im not giving her up..people would say im crazy..but i believe in my love and her love..one day..i and her will be together again..Labels: i love you..
hurts but carry on.. ; 3:13 PM
03 JULY 09we plan to go schl together todae and go somewhere after that..i plan to bring her to our places of memories..all of them in one day..i brought my camera to capture the moments of her happiness with me..her smiles and teary eyes that is full of happiness and love when she is with me..but it all breaks me into pieces..when i receive a call..she told me she is sorie..she is meeting him..(in my heart was an arrow..drilling thru it..i break into tears and put down the phone..)i was thinking at that point of time..when im with her, even if we plan something and suddenly she got plans with a friend, she dont mind letting me know about it..and i let her go..but now..sigh..i went for friday prayers with a bleeding heart..there i prayed for her..and for us..hoping we would be together again..INTERCHANGEshe called asking me where i am..and asking about the ezlink..she asked if i want to go to schl with her..i know it hurts but i missed her..i went to meet her at inter first..then coincidently met zaki and the rest..she topped up her ezlink..looking at her just makes me want to cry..soo i stand alone at a corner..she came and asked why..i just kept quiet..i want to say i love her..but i know she wont change her mind bout meeting him..even when he is late after telling her that he want to meet her..(tell me when did i ever plan to go out with you and im late..?have i ever made u wait when we want to go out 2gether..?)i just dunnoe what to say..when otw to schl..we talked about our feelings again..i pretend to be strong..then reach schl she met miss jill..we continued after that..i sent her to the bus stop..we talked about the day i proposed to her..i see the happiness in her eyes once again when she talk about it..i know she wants it back but why doesnt she..?then the bus came..i said bye and walked off..she came instead of boarding the bus..i asked her why?she ask me where i want to go..i ask her why..?bcuz she care for me..i told her before cares came, theres always another word that come before it..that is love..her eyes went teary..full of love..but why she denies that she still love me..?then she tried to make me smile..i smiled..(u want to know why i smiled?bcuz i saw ur love for me smiling in ur eyes..thats why i smiled..)but when she want to go.. and i saw the bus..my heart hurts..she asked me to smile..i cant..bcuz im sending her to another guy..i just couldnt smile..when she go..she didnt even text me..she didnt even say anything..it hurts me that i cried on the overhead bridge..being alone..looking at the vehicles beneathe me makes me feel like jumping..but i didnt bcuz i still love you and i wont have the chance to be woth you when im dead..i went for percussion..play instruments happy..walk out of room sad..hurt..i just love her..is this my punishment for loving you..?then i cant bear it anymore that i burst everything out..that i didnt even mean to say to you..im sorie..i better go now..i cant help but to cry..Labels: tears may bleed in my eyes..
i regret my doings.. ; 2:49 PM
2days i cant get to blog...its like 2years the feelings of hurt as i cant express my feelings..yest was the most hurtful moments and stupidest moments of me..i didnt mean to say all that to her..it just hurts me alot..i talked to her otp at night..i know she wont change her decision..2 JULY 09this would be the day that we celebrate our 6monthsary..we met early in the morning and went for breakfast as per normal..went afghan and ate nasi sambal goreng..then we walk2 and bought ur manggis..then took the bus..she forgot to bring something soo we went down on the next stop and walk back..(would any guy willing to do that for her?carrying the manggis and a heavy bag?)then waited for her under her block while she go take her key..at that moment all the memories came back like a video play back..the time where i just knew her..waited for her under her block..rush there when she say she want to go and meet shikin..took all the opportunity to meet her..cuz i really love her deeply..even now i do that but i try not to always as it hurts me looking at her with him..then she came down and off we went to school..walking with her to schl from the 17 bus stop just reminds me more of the memories..we walked and we reach schl, cemta is under cleaning..soo went to Cafe1 and join cikgu and the rest..she ate the manggis..i just love looking at her eating..even when its the comot girl i know,this unperfections that make it perfect when she left me now..then training starts..Trainingi keep locking my eyes at her..i love looking at her dancing and smiling..but suddenly she became moody..i know something must have happend..i try to cheer her up..i wish she was with me at that point of time..cuz every sadness in her eyes i can see it..and it hurts me looking at her in that state..i truly and sincerely wants her back..why cant i be given another chance..?then i found out the reason..the phone..that guy makes her unhappy..i see sadness in her heart and eyes..but when she look into my eyes, love is there..(but why cant she accept me back..?)i just continued cheering her up..being by her side..help her with her facebook..at that point of time when she is near me..i wish she was mind to hold forever..after training..we went to eat at simpang bedok..AT SIMPANGi sat beside her..we ordered and ate..i paid for her drinks..she want to pay me back but i asked her to keep it..i looked into her eyes and told her keep it..im sincere..i know she can see the love in my eyes..(but i still dont get it why she cant accept me back..)then its time to go home..when at the bus stop, i say..its 2nd july..she ans..it would be the sixth..i said..yeah..i wish we could celebrate it toget when i return..and i teared in my heart..in the bus..we keep talking about our feelings..but she keep saying i dunnoe..(remember the times before we get together..u keep saying u dunnoe ur feelings towards me..but in the end..im the one that u love..from that moment i loved u soo deeply without thinking of the world..bcuz in my life there is me and you..)but now its gone..my life is gone..when we are under the block,we talked and i express everything to her..she cried..by her tears i knew that she still love me..(but why cant she take me back?)she told me..why must my true love come to me now..?that was the sentence that makes me strong to win her back..she admits im her true love..she still loves me..then i gave her a hug..she cried..i told her i love her and look into her eyes..happiness was there when she cried looking at me..(but why..?why cant u accept me back?)then i open my arms wide and she came into my warmth..i hugged her hoping not to let her go..then when she want to go off, i kissed her hand and her forehead..full of love..i saw her crying otw home..and my tears that i control roll down my cheek..i smiled looking at her walk home..thinking things will change..but i was wrong...Labels: i need you to survive..
Friday, July 3, 2009
life is full of ups and downs.. ; 4:01 PM
just now send her off at the bus stop to him..she asked me to smile..but its just hard to smile..i told her i dont mind sacrificing my love..as long as she is happy with him..it hurts to send ur love one to another guy..it really does..but i pretend to be strong and happy..i dont care if people says im stupid or a pretender..as long as she is happy..no matter what i will be waiting for her always..i love you Nur Fardiyana..yes i truly do..how i wish he was like me..understanding..Labels: i will try to start anew..
Thursday, July 2, 2009
why?? ; 6:00 PM
why this feelings..?Labels: sorie..
hurts.. ; 2:41 PM
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
sayings.. ; 10:12 PM
sometimes when u love that someone, u have to sacrifice for her..
one day you might never know what he has for you..
but never give up on giving urslef hopes..
even if it a false hopes..
as it makes u happy..
to continue life..
smile always..
Labels: as long as you are happy..i will be..
sorie guys.. ; 10:04 PM
im sorie guys..but there seems to have a problem with downloading the pics in the post..i will try it again 2moro keyh?hope it will work 2moro..Labels: love her..
it happend again.. ; 9:01 PM
todae i woke up full of smiles..want to know why??bcuz the person that i love called and woke me up..asking if we could have breakfast outside as theres no food at home..i rushed to the bathe room and shower..rushed to my room and iron my clothes and get ready..HERE COMES IT..after im ready...Miss Jill gave me a call..saying i cant go for the Da Vinci..as i just reach singapore for 6 days..just one day left eyy..sadness filled my heart..thought i could spent my day wit her at the Science Center..MET LOVEas per normal, i text her only when i have reach the usual meeting place.. =)then she came down..as per normal she tickle my hips..it reminds me of the past but now its just a friend to friend thingi..then off we went to saffron and ate..then we went to interchange to meet Khai..forgot bout joe..called him and waited for him..while waiting for him..Khai, Love and me went to Tamp1 to walk2..then Khai want to eat..we proceed to macdonalds to eat..of course Love and me never eat..we accompanied Khai only..then here comes Joe and off we went to Jurong East..im sorie that i wasnt in the mood in the train..listening to those songs..sitting in a train..reminds me of the first outing we had..looking for things for arts under the stars..yes i was crying..im sorie..reach there not that early..waited for the rest and..SAD PARToff they went together2 to Science Center..like yesterday..i felt left out..but what to do..i walk3 alone2 sad2...(this oia really is changing my happy life to a sad one..)AFTER 3HRSthey came back..my PANTAT is flat..hehe..then Khai and Rai went to meet atik..Love and me went to take the train..we want to eat Pastamania but dunnoe at where..TRAINafter a long decision making...Parkway Parade we went to eat at..she looked sleepy in the train..let her lie on my shoulder..(as she was sleeping on my shoulder..it reminds me of the past..i wanted to kiss her forehead but..i remind myself..im her friend and she is with him..soo i take that back..)dropped off at Bedok inter and guess what??saw Abg and Kakak!missed them soo muchie2!slm and hugged them..then off we went to PP taking 31..kakak ask me..i and yana dah okeyh ke..i was saying no..it hurts looking at his name in Love hp..texting each other..i know im a friend of Love and shouldnt feel angry or anything..now i know how u feel kak..and thanx Khai for giving me words of advice..and thanx on agreeing with me that Love is getting more and more beautiful..PPwe terlajak one bus stop..hehe..soo we walked back to PP..Love was busy texting him..i pretend to be happy..cuz i need to hide those feelings away..then we went straight to Pastamania..we chose a seat outside the shop..where no one os seating..then went and order..was damn hungry at that moment of time..then food came..(dah lapar bkn nak mkn tau..)we took pics..i just love taking pictures of Love..i dunnoe why i can take beautiful pictures of hers but not other people..ok back to story..we ate and ate till we are damn full..=)then after eating, took pictures again..then we talk about our trips..after that took 31 back..BUScontinued chatting about our trips..watch her video dancing..looking at the videomakes me feel like tearingyou were talking about the videomy eyes were locked at youwhen u look at me, i look back at the videoim happy to see u happythen we talk about the pics she took at science center..she asked if she can be a model..i stared her eyes..not blinking..told her.. "i said yes u can in the past and my answer will never change.."then drop off one bus stop after schl and change to 9..continued talking..then drop off at afghan..went toi2 first..then sent her home..at that moment when i was standing in front of you..it felt like we are still together..i was about to kiss ur hand and forehead but im not urs i said..then when u walk off..i wanted to say i love you..but i know i shouldnt..then i proceed home..to Love..i know u dont like to use my money..but the things we are doing are some of the plans i had in mind to celebrate our monthsary..but i know its too late as there is no more US..i spent things sincerely for you..i know u dont want to feel terhutang budi but i don mind..remember the princip i told u before in the past?my money is ours and ur money is urs?u know i kept that princip cuz i still take u as my Love..thats why i feel what a friend shouldnt feel..thats why i care what a friend sometimes dosent care..it makes me happy to know u r happy..thats why i keep saying.."you are happy right..?"i just want to make myself happy by still thinking we are still the US we are before..cant i..?till here love..guys!there are pics to be uploaded soon..wait up yeah!i dunnoe if she still loves me..bcuz yest and todae..i heard a word from her mouth that gives me hope..but i dunnoe if she accidently said it..when i was disturbing her i hear.."b tkmo..my mouth sakit uh.."when i pinched her mouth in the bus.."b my neck sakitlah.."when i wanna strangle her from the back fooling around..i know she say it maybe she terlepas ckp..soo i just kept my feelings of happiness away..but i will always love her and treat her the way i treated her in the past..thats all..Labels: my pain so real..
