hurts but carry on.. ; 3:13 PM
03 JULY 09we plan to go schl together todae and go somewhere after that..i plan to bring her to our places of memories..all of them in one day..i brought my camera to capture the moments of her happiness with me..her smiles and teary eyes that is full of happiness and love when she is with me..but it all breaks me into pieces..when i receive a call..she told me she is sorie..she is meeting him..(in my heart was an arrow..drilling thru it..i break into tears and put down the phone..)i was thinking at that point of time..when im with her, even if we plan something and suddenly she got plans with a friend, she dont mind letting me know about it..and i let her go..but now..sigh..i went for friday prayers with a bleeding heart..there i prayed for her..and for us..hoping we would be together again..INTERCHANGEshe called asking me where i am..and asking about the ezlink..she asked if i want to go to schl with her..i know it hurts but i missed her..i went to meet her at inter first..then coincidently met zaki and the rest..she topped up her ezlink..looking at her just makes me want to cry..soo i stand alone at a corner..she came and asked why..i just kept quiet..i want to say i love her..but i know she wont change her mind bout meeting him..even when he is late after telling her that he want to meet her..(tell me when did i ever plan to go out with you and im late..?have i ever made u wait when we want to go out 2gether..?)i just dunnoe what to say..when otw to schl..we talked about our feelings again..i pretend to be strong..then reach schl she met miss jill..we continued after that..i sent her to the bus stop..we talked about the day i proposed to her..i see the happiness in her eyes once again when she talk about it..i know she wants it back but why doesnt she..?then the bus came..i said bye and walked off..she came instead of boarding the bus..i asked her why?she ask me where i want to go..i ask her why..?bcuz she care for me..i told her before cares came, theres always another word that come before it..that is love..her eyes went teary..full of love..but why she denies that she still love me..?then she tried to make me smile..i smiled..(u want to know why i smiled?bcuz i saw ur love for me smiling in ur eyes..thats why i smiled..)but when she want to go.. and i saw the bus..my heart hurts..she asked me to smile..i cant..bcuz im sending her to another guy..i just couldnt smile..when she go..she didnt even text me..she didnt even say anything..it hurts me that i cried on the overhead bridge..being alone..looking at the vehicles beneathe me makes me feel like jumping..but i didnt bcuz i still love you and i wont have the chance to be woth you when im dead..i went for percussion..play instruments happy..walk out of room sad..hurt..i just love her..is this my punishment for loving you..?then i cant bear it anymore that i burst everything out..that i didnt even mean to say to you..im sorie..i better go now..i cant help but to cry..Labels: tears may bleed in my eyes..
