i regret my doings.. ; 2:49 PM
2days i cant get to blog...its like 2years the feelings of hurt as i cant express my feelings..yest was the most hurtful moments and stupidest moments of me..i didnt mean to say all that to her..it just hurts me alot..i talked to her otp at night..i know she wont change her decision..2 JULY 09this would be the day that we celebrate our 6monthsary..we met early in the morning and went for breakfast as per normal..went afghan and ate nasi sambal goreng..then we walk2 and bought ur manggis..then took the bus..she forgot to bring something soo we went down on the next stop and walk back..(would any guy willing to do that for her?carrying the manggis and a heavy bag?)then waited for her under her block while she go take her key..at that moment all the memories came back like a video play back..the time where i just knew her..waited for her under her block..rush there when she say she want to go and meet shikin..took all the opportunity to meet her..cuz i really love her deeply..even now i do that but i try not to always as it hurts me looking at her with him..then she came down and off we went to school..walking with her to schl from the 17 bus stop just reminds me more of the memories..we walked and we reach schl, cemta is under cleaning..soo went to Cafe1 and join cikgu and the rest..she ate the manggis..i just love looking at her eating..even when its the comot girl i know,this unperfections that make it perfect when she left me now..then training starts..Trainingi keep locking my eyes at her..i love looking at her dancing and smiling..but suddenly she became moody..i know something must have happend..i try to cheer her up..i wish she was with me at that point of time..cuz every sadness in her eyes i can see it..and it hurts me looking at her in that state..i truly and sincerely wants her back..why cant i be given another chance..?then i found out the reason..the phone..that guy makes her unhappy..i see sadness in her heart and eyes..but when she look into my eyes, love is there..(but why cant she accept me back..?)i just continued cheering her up..being by her side..help her with her facebook..at that point of time when she is near me..i wish she was mind to hold forever..after training..we went to eat at simpang bedok..AT SIMPANGi sat beside her..we ordered and ate..i paid for her drinks..she want to pay me back but i asked her to keep it..i looked into her eyes and told her keep it..im sincere..i know she can see the love in my eyes..(but i still dont get it why she cant accept me back..)then its time to go home..when at the bus stop, i say..its 2nd july..she ans..it would be the sixth..i said..yeah..i wish we could celebrate it toget when i return..and i teared in my heart..in the bus..we keep talking about our feelings..but she keep saying i dunnoe..(remember the times before we get together..u keep saying u dunnoe ur feelings towards me..but in the end..im the one that u love..from that moment i loved u soo deeply without thinking of the world..bcuz in my life there is me and you..)but now its gone..my life is gone..when we are under the block,we talked and i express everything to her..she cried..by her tears i knew that she still love me..(but why cant she take me back?)she told me..why must my true love come to me now..?that was the sentence that makes me strong to win her back..she admits im her true love..she still loves me..then i gave her a hug..she cried..i told her i love her and look into her eyes..happiness was there when she cried looking at me..(but why..?why cant u accept me back?)then i open my arms wide and she came into my warmth..i hugged her hoping not to let her go..then when she want to go off, i kissed her hand and her forehead..full of love..i saw her crying otw home..and my tears that i control roll down my cheek..i smiled looking at her walk home..thinking things will change..but i was wrong...Labels: i need you to survive..
